“Life events are not determined by the blind wheel of fortune, but by the wheels of God’s divine providence, which are full of eyes.”
An Internet Generation Has Come and Gone
It’s been forty years since I first logged online. Forty years is a long time, it’s an entire GENERATION.
NO Millennials were born when I first logged online. The Joshua Generation was growing older and subgenerations X, Y and Z were small children or had not yet been born themselves.
The Circle of Life
I once feared the cycle of psychological life as derived in Romanesque ideologies.
“Generativity versus Stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.”
In the prior stages, I trod a thin line – lacking and flowing on the opposite side of what was the “good” part of human growth and development. Most of it was due to racism and gender-hatred, a lot of it was due to familial status in a nation that has never been Black Family-friendly.
Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development include ‘trust vs. mistrust’, ‘autonomy vs. shame/doubt’, ‘initiative vs. guilt’, ‘industry vs. inferiority’, ‘identity vs. role confusion’, ‘intimacy vs. isolation’, [I ENTER HERE into the New Millennium] ‘generativity vs. stagnation’, and ‘integrity vs. despair’.
Up to the age of 40, I did live in the shadows of mistrust, shame, doubt, confusion, guilt, inferiority, role (non-gender) confusion, and ultimately in isolation.
Now that I am at the middle point of the last two stages of personal growth and development, the rest of you who are reading this now are headed in the exact same direction, regardless. I hope to spare you the pain and anguish that beset me over the years and I pray that you become better persons through your knowledge of my own experiences and of yours.
Choose better for yourself WITH knowledge this time, rather than without it. Only one thing is guaranteed with an education, and that is a set of different and highly valuable experiences. Money, position, and status is not guaranteed, but great experiences and connections are.
With this more recent discovery of “pay to play” college choices, the whites of America just thoroughly discredited their own vast array of ivy league colleges and educational systems. It is interesting to watch them self-implode on my watch. All that they have built has become so non-credible and worthless in this ‘trumpean reality show’ atmosphere, it is interesting to see that what we once thought was wonderful that almost guaranteed us a brighter future meant absolutely nothing except for relationship-building and somewhat advanced thought processes.
But the Payors likely never got an education while there.
If they valued themselves so little as to pay for what everyone else had to earn, then the chances that they ever showed up for class or got a passing grade without cracking their legs and splits open is slim to none. Their own parents doubted their children’s abilities and decided for them that they would never be “good enough” and the only way they would get there is to slide some garnish across the roast beast.
And THAT is what made us better than them at everything … they got a pass on what we had no choice BUT to learn, and somehow, it repositioned us, in America speaking a language not native to the land, to beat them at their own games.
With only two stages left, I have to make a choice as to how this ends — how to “Finish Well” in spite of all that happened before now. And it’s a job and a half to switch to the good side after so many decades of sheer evil out of people in my life, both near and far.
Back then, there were no computerized “windows” (pictures for people who did not want to learn code), and there were no “mice” to get around the picture windows – you had to use your keyboard to make things ‘happen’ online. There was nothing more than a dial-up modem and Compuserve (sometimes Genie and JUNO) for the general public.
The newly-released Internet, Pentagon intelligence, otherwise known as ‘arrogant white males trying to control the world like their mad scientist proteges from TVLand’, was only for some pretty sophisticated persons who could afford to buy or rent the equipment to log on and “talk” to the world. When I first mentioned the word “e-mail,” no one I knew knew what it was and the people I spoke with about it (once again) looked at me as if I had lost my mind and was a woman on the moon made of green cheese. It took a white man saying it to convince them it was all real.
So many early web outlets that I tried to introduce to Black America back in the early 1980s, and the Black folks I spoke with about the largest “possibilities” ignored it all until ‘de white man’ told them it was true. They went from crickets to “gushes”, and that attitude is what keeps us behind as a people. We chose the slow boat behind whites and decided that our “media tide” should not rise unless theirs rose first, so even on this Internet Ark, we should not slight them for turning our pearls of life over to swine.
“Gushing White” is what will keep us in their powers; but how much power do they have?
What makes them think that Trump’s white arrogance will control and dominate even outer space?
He will be dead and long buried in his grave and there will be ten (10) times the Mexicans here than what is here now, The Lion of the Tribe of Judah will be back in the REAL Jerusalem (not the “state of” Israel, but in JUDAH where we came from), and God will have let them know who runs this world by then, including outer space.
Trumps’ “Space Balls Force” cannot control that. He went in as if the USA was a private business and as if he was the boss of Congress and now they actually think he is the White God to replace Cesare Borgia, autographing Bibles and demanding control of the Universe.
Hanani’s Message to Asa: 2 Chronicles 16:7 At that time Hanani the prophet came to Asa king of Juda, and said to him: Because thou hast had confidence in the king of Syria, and not in the Lord thy God, therefore hath the army of the king of Syria escaped out of thy hand. 8 Were not the Ethiopians, and the Libyans much more numerous in chariots, and horsemen, and an exceeding great multitude: yet because thou trustedst in the Lord, he delivered them into thy hand? 9 For the eyes of the Lord behold all the earth, and give strength to those who with a perfect heart trust in him. Wherefore thou hast done foolishly, and for this cause from this time wars shall arise against thee.
I thank God that Trump’s only place in the world is to pull down white supremacy and destroy the thieves who came to steal, kill and destroy, though he does not appear to know that; but in the meantime, we need to seriously WAKE THE EFF UP about knowing who we are and where we came from, just like they know and won’t confess it to save their own lives.
By the time AOL (America Online) showed up with their dial-up web accessories and later on, decided to integrate it into high speed instant access with no telephone dialer needed, I was already on Bulletin Board and Chatrooms learning to make ‘faces’ with certain keyboard actions and subsequently talking about the situations of Black and Afrocentric persons in America, while simultaneously experiencing severe backlash by whites and people claiming to be white and also unbelieving Black folks who would’t move forward unless whites told them to – drizzling to the back seat of everything.
One of the first forums to go publicly live online was “Delphi-forums”, and it appeared to be a ‘sanctuary’ of sorts for me to talk about the plight of Black America without so much persecution.
Yet, the time came when what is now referred to as INTERNET TROLLS tried to tear apart one of only three or four Black (Afro-American) forums on the entire Delphi chatroom network.
We were attacked on all sides unless we were in there entertaining them with African art and Motown. After a severe fight with some of the biggest online racists at the time, I developed my own Forum, built based on the Black history of The Lion King and ultimately called “Rafiki’s Pride Rock”.
It was there that I was able to snuff out white racist trolls by the rules of “block, BOZO, delete and report”, and did so with pickle relish.
It was my turn to say whatever I wanted to and kick THEM out and I took full advantage of it.
Delphiforums did not care what they did to me, but they did care about their TOS (Terms of Service), no matter who owned the Forum Space. As long as the rules applied to everyone across the board, I could do my research, handle my input and throw people out at will, which put me on the same level as my digital opposition.
From that forum grew several other forums, and a couple of other Black people wandered over to Delphi, but eventually left. Not long afterward, along came Gather, Myspace, and then the ‘takeover’ by Facebook. Legal battles were still being fought over copyright laws and music downloads, and many internet rules and laws on the books now did not exist at the time.
Now, the battlefield is totally vibrant.
It is tilled and filled with colors, pictures, photos, videos, blinged out chatrooms with all kinds of capabilities, thousands of emojis that can be clicked rather than spelled out, and all kinds of ways to mix media and come up with the wildest presentations and portrayals, including Memes.
What started online in single lines of bits and bytes ended up layered over in wireless bling and personal preference controls. I was excited to see the growth and experience it for myself. With every new piece of technology toy -line on line precept on precept- I hung in there … until it got utterly ridiculous.
Breaking stuff just to come up with ways to fix it should not be an option, but online makeovers became what we know now as “High Tech.” Sometimes, what works works and it is not necessary to cute it up just to prove something about Big Brains. Simple stuff becomes complicated and overdone and all changes are not good changes. The idea behind Coca-Cola is DO NOT CHANGE THE FORMULA, or risk losing sales. Very often, the same thing applies to technology.
Racist America Online
By the time the New Millennia lazily wandered in during the late 1990s, we were, as a Black people, pretty fearful, overly respectful of those who did not respect us, beggarly, slovenly, imperfect, untooled, and pretty much powerless and mealy-mouthed. In other words, we once behaved online as we did in the offline world-as second class digital citizens.
Then, from out of nowhere, the climate changed.
I looked around one day to see that I (and a hand full of others) was no longer online fighting alone.
Those who had spoken the truth to power in the wilderness for many years prior to the world wide web found their online spirit and voices not only in chatrooms, but on Myspace, on Facebook, and then into other digital media such as ‘whatever’ came after Facebook (Twitter, Pinterest, et al).
I found my way to UI, with permission to speak the unfettered truth, and it came spilling out with no remorse about anything that was said.
Even stuff I wrote that later turned out, on better research, to be a little out of focus; the bottom line for me was a sense of pride that some young folks caught up and caught on, and took off on their own, with visible signs that they were inspired by my writings.
I won’t call out the young Black folks that now mirror the very things that I discussed online for 40 years, but what I will say is that they need to take it and run higher and deeper than I was ever able to go. It’s overdue.
The Joshua Generation
As we turn to grandparents and great-grandparents, we are more than happy to know that our young people are finally catching on and deciding not to be the “niggers” that white America created.
Now, what I enjoy more than ever is listening to my younger Black brothers and sisters online taking up the gauntlet that the early Black pioneers of online civil discourse passed on to them. I have seen quite a few who have picked up on some of my own stories, books, blogs, news reports, and even some of my graphics here online over the years.
It means the world to know that OUR people are finally listening, catching on, waking up and taking things to a higher and better level than I ever could.
Though much is said that I can’t agree with based on my own knowledge and experience, they are brilliant at laying it out to make some sense. It means they listened, read, and the word got around and empowered them to take off on their own direction in whatever media they thought best to use.
I am proud to say that I have used my gift for empowering others to SPEAK AND LIVE FREE. Free enough not to even care what white people say or think about “us” any more.
That is a FAR CRY from where this all began in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
I feel vindicated, justified, and finally … now that ‘we’ have finally caught on and are telling better and bolder stories than I ever could, I can now take a seat and know that the Mission at hand (to discover and reveal truth about our place in the world) will carry on even when I am no longer here to enjoy it.
In this hour, Black America is finally waking up and many of no longer fear losing our ability to sustain ourselves without white people’s input.
We didn’t need it before, we certainly don’t need it now, and truth told, they don’t want all of us “monkeys” to go back to Africa, because without us and our resources, they are as good as dead. Black people are the driving force behind their right to exist and Trump, with his “space forces” idea knows it, which is why he wants to arrogantly dominate and control what he can’t even touch–let alone command.
Maybe they have room to dream dreams that we don’t have time for.
Often we are too too busy working out our own salvation to pretend that racism is not still an issue here in America. However, our Black handprints, fingerprints, footprints, and seals of approval are upon all that is considered “white and superior” in the world.
They created the “nigger,” so they are the only ones who will have to live with the consequences of their sins. They did not create Christianity, and we should have had enough by now of giving them credit for what belonged to us from the very start of the world. Not just the psychological norms that they derived from our forefathers, but also the physical resources that they took for themselves – dividing up the spoils of warfare that they laid upon a people who were kind to those who were unkind to us.
In return for our grace and mercy bestowed to them, they gave us hell and high water and ‘niggers’; but it will all resolve soon, AS SOON AS WE LEARN TO STOP WORSHIPING THEM IN THE PLACE OF GOD.
The Bible has a lot to say about them, and about ‘us versus them’, and though we don’t know it all just YET, we are waking up to it and that is ALL that matters for this moment. Only our choice to worship their skin color over the Love of God empowered them to do as they do, and it is time for us to stop doing it.
Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts reflect a final rejection of Rome and European pagan value systems in our lives, to root them out, and to begin to reflect the One and Only God who created us.