THAT’S A NO to this “wannabe-like-white-people” TV series unless they can do it SERIOUSLY and be real about what we consider funny and what is NOT.

No more jokey-joke Black folks and criminal drug-dealing shooting Black folks and wannabe white folks with scandals and empires going on … no more trite cliches and “that’s my mammy’s mama”. No more Kid Dynamites or even Kid Cudahy’s, no more “ahma kick you out the house” one-liners, no more weak unsophisticated one-sided run-ins with cops and judges who are made to look as if they can do no wrong, and DEFINITELY no more “moving’ on ups to the East sides.”

It’s been done before and it’s over.

It is past time for the Black community to stay principled on HUMOR, and yet deal with the serious stuff at the same time like they did on ANY DAY NOW – the only show on television that ever dealt with the reality of the deep confederate south. Time for the reality of fiction with living as young and older and middling age Black people in America, and how some of us do, indeed, have good old down home white folks for friends.

No one has yet struck that FINE BALANCE between right and wrong, ups and downs, thin lines and love lines, and good vs evil, or even big versus little, nature vs nurture, or Man vs the Machine stories in the BLACK COMMUNITY and come up with a delicious rambunctious non-self-penalizing combination that settles on love and laughter without the racist stereotypes, but hedges it bets on the REAL DEAL with white skin bigotry at the same time.

Black people, Afro-Asiatic America, is more than just white lusts and Black KkKrakkka revenge and low-level street porn with a basketball hoop or a football and some dumb rap sheet music tossed in just for the excitement of it all.

No more white people’s Tyrones and Jeromes, no more Romey-Romes, no more Black people modeled on white ideas about who we were and are now, and definitely no more ICKY-BOO-RAY SHOT UP CUDDY-RORO’S HOUSE because they wanted some ‘ni&&er-freshies’ and a damned Hugo Boss Jacket.

No more criminal-cookies and heeby-jeepy crap rappers and basketball jonesing and over-bloated Negroes acting white while running all over the place threatening folks for a living by manipulating their trust, their fears, and their “family secrets” and information that they simply don’t want told. Hell, “Mama would have shut everybody’s ass slap down and told it ALL by now anyway”.

No more pissy-tailed drunks who know how to roll a blunt and give instructions on how to slosh up some man’s humongous penis with a grapefruit and no more laughing about sexual assault and definitely no more normalizing gender confusion and white black-ish women and men with anal superpowers going around sending people to SUNKEN PLACES and watching Black bedwench-y women sucking white presidents dingalings in bathrooms during catholic baby Christening ceremonies. (How in the HELL can that be a turn-on?)

That shit is COMPLETELY played out and it’s time to allow ART TO IMITATE LIFE when dealing with an older generation of Black women who HAD to have grown up through the Civil Rights Movement, because I’m not yet 60 AND I GREW UP IN IT…was a Frontline Firstfruit Benefactor of it, as a matter of fact.


…so a television show about older Black women living together to make ends meet needs to run deeper than a “Dorothy, Rose and Blanche” … we were GOLDEN before they became Golden Girls.

Our roots run much deeper than less than 10,000 years and some European ancestors in Sicily, some slaveholders in Atlanta, Georgia, and living in the Appalachians of Old Goat USA.

It’s time to bring it from the Far East through Africa to the Americas without thinking we need white rescuers and without having to pretend that we were not the originators of Christianity as well as the originators and investors and inventors of other religions, of art, music, dance, literature, science, psychology, and philosophy and not just some jungle crawlers grateful to a nasty nation for “setting us free” when we already WERE free.

Rome and Greece just stole it all from our Black ancestors anyway and then tried to burn down our proof of claim and our libraries and books in places like Timbuktu, Mali — and its HIGH time we ALL know it. That the WORLD knows all about it.

It’s time for the world, and for us, to understand that Black military served a nation that did not serve us and still does not now. Deal with the Confederate flag without pretending the Black Gold of Hollywood don’t understand its complexities and abominations.

Deal with President Obama’s legacy without being a ‘black-ish cliche’.

Deal with ALL of our history-makers as if it can be done again, not as if it was a one-shot deal. DEAL WITH legal businesses and how we profit as ONE in the community baking beignets and arranging flowers and cooking, cleaning and hitting up corporations with good investments that don’t need crap-rappers and hip-hoppers and basketballs to underscore it, not as busted up broken shards of white inhumanities with an eye to the FUTURE and deal appropriately and in sync with the past without ignoring it all together. Back when we OWNED homes and a piece of land, had barbershops, and ice cream shops and mom-n-pop grocery shops and didn’t just wash clothes for white people, but made our own clothes with our own stitches and birthed our own babies with our own midwives and designed our own hats with our own millineries.

Hollywood can’t do that because they have proven for more than 75 years that they don’t know a DAMNED THING about BLACK PEOPLE, period, especially not older Black and African-American women who grew up in a sub-standard America that has barely changed since the mid-1800s.

You need a REAL fiction story? Kick Barbecue Becky’s and Swimsuit Susie’s asses and make sure George Zimmerman spends the rest of his life in prison, and was found hanging by a rope like the one they gave #SandraBland. Want fiction in exchange for reality? Sandra Bland and Botham Jean actually GOT justice in Hollywood! without families who sell out for cash, and cops go to effing jail and prison for gunning down unarmed Black people for no justifiable reason. And Donald Trump’s ass is convicted right along with Bill Cosby’s – that’s what you call creative license, especially when you can make it slap-high-fives funny how they ALL got their comeuppance in the end, and not just the dark-skinned ones.



PUBLIC NOTE: The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the view of the Urban Intellectuals, affiliates or partners.