Black men MUST stop short-sightedly blaming Black women for the ills of our community. This mess is sickening and I just can’t take it any longer.
Background:
I’m in the sauna after a workout relaxing and jaw-jacking as usual when one of the men in the sauna vents about his frustrations on what’s going on in our community. He was speaking on the crime, violence, lack of education, jobs, etc.
I’m listening along when the conversation took a disturbing turn for the worse.
He blamed it all on Black women.
This Black man went on a rant about how back in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s there weren’t many men in the homes due to incarceration, drugs or some other weak reason for not being a father, therefore the generations were raised by Black women.
Thus Black women are the reason we find ourselves in this predicament today.
After a few verbal bouts with the gentlemen and another in the sauna at the time pointing out the obvious like, “But what about the responsibilities of the men not to go to jail” or “don’t they have some blame for abandoning their children and families”?
This notion that men “got to do what they got to do”, so they sell drugs is bullshit. Let’s just call it what it is because you can work your ass off on 3 or 4 different jobs. You don’t have to commit crimes in order to feed your family. That’s a cop out and excuse.
Don’t get me twisted here. I’m a Black man from the ‘Hood’ and clearly understand that it takes nothing to have a felony put on you by these crooked police officers that patrol many of our neighborhoods. But this doesn’t represent the vast number of criminals who committed the crimes. Now the sentencing differences are mad bogus, we know this, but to give Black men a total pass and to lay all the blame on Black women is ridiculous….not to mention there is a 8,000 elephant in the room and these Black men are trying to ignore it.
I got frustrated, felt my temperature rising and I had to walk away from the discussion because it wasn’t going anywhere.
Despite all the logic, reasoning and historical facts I laid out in front of the gentleman, he continued to retreat to Black women being the root cause of it all.
You must understand I’ve done at least 15 years on the front lines battling ignorance and short-sightedness in our community. It’s something that has weighed on me and my push back has been real. However, I realize now instead of battling one person at a time, I can retreat to the Urban Intellectuals platform and address millions. More bang for the buck. Now, you might not agree with me and that’s fine, but for me, this is time better spent reaching and addressing more people…and hopefully changing a few minds along the way.
Another thing you must know about me, I’M A HUGE FAN OF BLACK WOMEN, so when they are attacked for no good reason, I can’t handle it. You could say I’m a light feminist (shrugs).
But let’s get to the crux of the matter of why I believe blaming the ills of the Black community on the Black woman is either foolish, short-sighted, or these people are flat out afraid of addressing the real issue, ‘Massa’.
An Analogy:
There is a virus on your computer that is causing a toxic computing environment and things aren’t working like they are supposed to work. It’s frustrating and you are upset. You drone on and on about the virus on your computer and blame it for the toxic computing environment, but ignore the coder that put the virus on the computer. As you figure out how to wipe the virus from your computer, the coder adds another and another.
But again, instead of blaming the coder, you continue to bemoan the virus.
I got this analogy from David Banner, just wanted to give him credit for it, but I think it is the perfect example of how weak and misguided these Black men arguments that the Black woman is to blame for the toxic community we find today.
They are afraid to address the coder, ‘Massa’.
Like it or not, White supremacy, or ‘Massa’ as I’ve been calling it, has been working very hard since it put your ancestors in chains for hundreds of years, stole your culture, erased your history, denied your people reparations, denied them an education, subjected them to another 100 years of Jim Crow, segregation, government-sponsored terrorism of murder, death and intimidation, underfunded and under-supported school systems, dismantling of prominent organizations throughout history via Cointelpro, undermining and murder of leaders, destruction of our economic system, rampant police brutality (and this didn’t just start), real estate redlining practices that created the so-called ‘Hoods’ we live in today, powerful media propaganda that demonizes our people to them and ourselves, overt teachings of self hate, systemic racism in the legislative, judicial and executive branches of government…at all levels, income disparagies, rampant unemployment inequalities, and on and on.
Black men that want to ignore all of these FACTS to simply blame the Black woman are either miseducated, ignorant or afraid to addres the Coder, ‘Massa’.
Take your pic, but I’m leaning towards the latter.
Thank you, Brother. We, as Black women, need more encouragement to build ourselves back up from the LOWLY position everybody who is NOT of color try to put us in. We’re the most hated group of women in America…and for no good or justifiable reason. In most cases, people who are our haters base that on the low opinion that our own Black men have expressed about us. Where is the cultural and heritage pride? Do these men MOT realize that a Black woman bore them?! Hello…..!!!
So on point, so true, so factual, wish we could have millions of Black men like you, perhaps that will be what the future holds for us, I know we must work on it, and I am always doing that, in every way that I can. Thank you for being the Man that you are.
I do agree on some of what you are saying ,but me also being from the hood and watching the traps laid out for black men and women i also understand where they get this mind set.I personally watched an unmarked car pull into a back lot in the worst part of DC on “R” Street by paradice projects.Two white dudes get out ,mind you this is a spot only drug buyers or dealers hung out.these were RAPHAELS BOYS.no one was allowed on this block without his consent.anyway they walk through the hood like they own the place and nobody touches or says a word to them.this is the same block i had to make a quick dash down the block to avoid being caught in gunfire leaving work around the block.THEY WERE DROPPING OFF DRUGS TO ALL THE DEALERS on that block no money was exchanged.my best friend big black went from sardines and pork and beans to shrimp and lobster in a matter of months .NEVER WILL FORGET WHAT HIS MOTHER SAID TO ME.She said why did i let him do it.THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET.A black woman said that,SHE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING AND TURNED AWAY BE CAUSE OF THE MONEY IT BROUGHT IN.next point even if you pay child support you are not allowed to stay in the house `section 8` unless you are married .massa as you call him planned it that way.CONTROL THE BOOTY CONTROL THE MAN.HENSE FOOD STAMPS CHILD SUPPORT AND INCAR CERATION IF YOU DONT COMPLY.unfortunately for most black men growiny up in the sixties and seventies and eighties.we were told in school to take menial jobs .trash digging ditches etc.I WANTED to go to college but was told my grades were not good enough to get a grant so why waist time and money on something i could not do.that was the mind set back then.next point .I graduated high school through VOTECH classes bricklaying.just in time for REGANOMICS,had good grades but no more government help.he cut food stamps nasa programs welfare programs and all government grants and funding for small business gues what happened .if you were black step back .lets let in more forieners to take the place of those broters who cant afford to work for minimum wage because of child support.lets bring in some COLUMBIANS they will work for almost nothing.ENTER THE SCARFACE.DRUGS WERE THE NEW JOB MARKET .ENTER THE JAMAICON POSSE.ENTER PABLO ESCABAR.WHAT DID OLIVER NORTH SAY WHEN HE AND RONALD REGAN GOT CAUGHT IN THE TRIANGLE TRADE `I DONT REMEMEMBER `WE WERE THE ONES THAT ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT IS GOING ON NOW.THE WOMEN LET US DO IT AND WE ROSE TO THE TASK AT HAND.20 YEARS LATER ALL THESE CRACK BABIES TRYING TO MAKE DECISIONS.they have non morals no conciousness,no fear no respect and no hope because of no religion other than money and booty and cars .wonder where they got that idea from.US .