“Yawn! Another man trying to define what women should be. Wake me when some real news happens.”
-Alicya Adams, in response to my article “Femininity Is Dead Pt. 2 (Rihanna vs. TLC)”
Disclaimer: The picture below was not created by the writer, Randall Barnes, or the members of Urban Intellectuals. It was used as a point of reference for the article, which was bore out of a several heated discussions I witnessed on Facebook about modern day relationships inspired by the picture. We don’t cosign the concept of colorism in any way, shape or form. Thank you!
I have an undying love for black women, specifically the ones handling their business. So, forgive me for feeling disparaged and slightly offended at the fact that females with no respect or sexual discretion get more love and attention than classy, sophisticated BMS’s (Business Minded Sisters). I apologize if my various novels or articles have (or will) offend you for urging black women to embrace their naturally regal swagger and realize that they should not just lay up or mess around with any man. Please accept my sincerest regards for honoring young women going against the grain and refusing to conform to these sexist Eurocentric views on women and relationships. Surely, I’m the enemy!
It’s been documented and dually noted that European philosophy on women is that they’re built to be indentured servants, only mere sex machines that also play the double role as maids, cooks and nannys. Isn’t that where the theory and practice of feminism came from? With American society being majorly influenced by European customs, we have adopted this oppressive, outdated view of women that causes a lot of dissention and battles of egos. Women want to be valued as social and financial equals, men want to maintain the innate power that drives our existence.
Why isn’t the word compromise in our mental dictionary? There are ways to honor and respect women without emasculating men. What’s up with this “my way or no way”, vain, narcissistic attitude from these supposed grown adults. I expect it from the teenagers around me. These hard grown-ups with all this experience in the dating realm but no concept of maintaining a fifty/fifty relationship is foreign to me. A lot of folks don’t even know what they want. Do you desire a thot, a housewife or Michelle Obama? Likewise, do you want a blue collar brother, a convict with two strikes or Young Thug? If you don’t know who that is, look him up! This indecisiveness on both sides is dangerous and rather annoying.
This issue was made increasingly aware to me when I posted an “either or” picture and a brief excerpt of my novel. On one side you had an attractive entrepreneur that owns her own business and pays her own bills but she expects you to cook and clean for yourself. The ladder is a problem, seeing that I don’t desire to cook all the time, but we could hypothetically compromise on that. The other side had an incredibly sexy, leggy dark skinned model with, hypothetically, no job. She takes your car $20 every day, totaling $600 a month, doing God knows what with it.
However, she cooks and cleans for you which, in some strange world, constitutes her not contributing in any aspect where it really matters. Let’s not forget she’s taking your car and your money and we don’t know what she’s doing with it. We frown upon simping and tricking but this is what we go for? Building with a nice, respectable female with her own cash flow makes her a “man with a vagina”? Lord help us all!
This is what should be showcased to young women about keeping and maintaining a man? Many of their concepts of male adulation are skewed in many ways. Now all they can be are sex slave and cooks? And I’m the one with a problem?
Personally, I choose option A. No matter how fine you are or how good the sex is, I refuse to have a grown child living with me. I’ve got dreams, aspirations and books to sell. If you plan to be with me, you better be ready to hustle! I want a woman that doesn’t need me to survive. That’s sexy! Likewise, I don’t need her. We come together because of a mutual love and respect for each other. We can compromise on the cooking and cleaning thing, as she’s living in the house as well and she should do what she’s supposed to do to keep things running. Just like I should! If I make a mess, I should clean it up. Don’t be so independent that the concept of doing anything for your man is foreign.
I’m not trying to define what women should be. You live your life and I’ll live mine. All I’m saying is that we should strive to step our games up and connect with people that can further us in our missions. As a BMB (Business Minded Brother) a thot isn’t going to help me get on the New York Times Bestseller’s list unless she has a whole lot of hustle and a large network of friends ready to buy my book. I’m just saying!
Shout out to the on point black women! Trust me, there are still brothers out here that will honor and respect you if you do the same in return.
-We came, we saw, we conquered! My debut publishing effort “Riverview High: Circumstances” reached #2 on the Amazon charts! Check it out on Amazon today. Don’t forget to leave a review!
-“The Diary Of Aaliyah Anderson” is out now! Make sure to go get it!
Do you have any questions, comments or concerns? Was I right or wrong on this issue? I would love to hear from you! Contact me directly at:
Email: [email protected]
Kik: @AuthorRandallB
Ask.Fm: @YoungandGiftedBooks
Twitter: @AuthorRandallB
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/randall.barnes.501
0 Comments