I keep hearing all these news headlines about how the single epidemic is destroying the black family.

But really is it that serious? Today’s society is so much more diverse than what media tries to get us to believe. It’s propaganda. The CNN specials about how 75% of all black females are unmarried or will never marry is a myth. Most of the people you meet are dating or in relationships weather they are on the way to marriage or not. I’m hard pressed to believe that 75% of ALL black females are not playing the dating game. I have friends of all races and we ALL have the same problem.

Single. Well educated. Beautiful. Pay our own bills. We all have things in common, but the most prominent issue is that we all want to be attached to someone who is secure and looking for marriage.

I’m not going to lie… I have had my ups and downs being single. I have enjoyed being free to do what I want, when I wanted to and I have also had lonely nights and days where I just wanted to talk to someone. My concern is that this is being portrayed as a black issue.

But everybody wants to know “WHY”… Why do black women settle for being baby-momma‘s. Why do black women support men who don’t contribute financially to the keeping of their household?
Of course I know every situation is different; “I love him”, “He’s the father of my child”, ”If I have his baby he will change”. The question still leaves me confused as to why we tolerate it. I think it comes from us not loving ourselves. I thought about it, I thought a long time and most of the reasons we stay in bad relationships or why we are afraid to approach new ones is because we don’t love ourselves. How we love ourselves and our communities sets the bar for who come into our lives.

The odds are already stacked against us even before we take our first breath. At the very lease we could start at love.