I’ve had to tackle some tough topics and issues in my lifetime and on the road to becoming a grandparent, but a couple of things that I noticed along the way are that the words “It’s not all about me” and “I’m not Perfect” slip too easily out of people’s mouths.

Before you get your panties twisted in a knot, let me explain.

I’m going to take a moment out to challenge some of the ideologies of that kind of thinking, especially in this “power of positive thinking” and “secrets of the universe” metaphysical world that we live in where “all things are supposedly allegedly POSSIBLE.”

I’ve talked about the differences between the “Yes We Can” Obama All-Faiths Welcome Administration and the “No YOU Can’t” core principles of the Republican Evangelical Christian Party.

This time, I’m going to throw a little ‘shade’ at myself simply because I’ve come under fire one time too many about the “You think you’re all that” and “you think you’re perfect” syndrome that somehow gets tied into someone’s ideologies about “Christianity” and what they think it is that I should know about some things that happened to ME.

I think I have reason enough to set the record straight; not just for me, but also so that those who now live and have lived upstanding and outstanding lives can stop hiding in shame and trying to pretend like there’s something wrong with confessing it.

It takes hard work to be upstanding and outstanding and the folks who do it in this world ought to take credit regardless of the fear of being thought of as “all that,” and even if no one gives them credit for holding up the Shining Light of a having lived a blameless life.

The Number One issue: “It’s not all about me.”

Well, hell, if not YOU, then who?

I spent the first 50 years of my life thinking in terms of humility and about not being a ‘selfish’ person before it dawned on me: I don’t have a selfish bone in my body. I wasn’t even hardwired for selfishness, and I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. It isn’t selfish to say that; it’s a fact of life.

I spent the first 50 years of my life making it all about everybody BUT me, so I know how that filters out in the end. A man or woman who does not love themselves is thoroughly incapable of loving others. That’s the bottom line. It’s all about you FIRST. Get that piece straight first and the rest will fall into place.

Mark 12:31 and Matthew 22:39 “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

No, I’m not a “Christian” by religious tradition; but I am God-minded through regular self-examination and on observation of life in general.

Other than that, I don’t go to “churched.” There are too many varieties of religious orders, and I’ve discovered that they are all comprised of a little truth mixed in with a whole lot of generalized BS.

A human being can get a spiritually ‘life-threatening tummy ache’ eating from too many religulous tables at one time; so sooner or later, a time of reciprocal purging must come. [ Ecclesiastes 3 ]

No, ALL Christians (of any denominational sector whatsoever) are not evil people; but neither are ALL Judaic people, ALL Islamic people, ALL Buddhists, or even ALL Shintoists or ALL Hinduists, just to name a few. That is my entire spiel on world religions or religiosity of any and all kinds.

Besides, true selfishness rests solely with “freely” making the wrong choices and then later becoming a liability and a burden to those who implored you not to go there in the first place; and in making those who lived their lives right pay for your mistakes.

Number Two: “I am not Perfect.”

Before you get your panties twisted in a knot AGAIN, let me explain.

I’ve never harmed anyone in my entire life. I’ve never intentionally sought to harm other people and have even put myself in harm’s way and sacrificed myself to protect people who really did not ultimately deserve the respect I gave them. That alone sent me into a quandary that spiraled into some deep depression. I was a People Addict and it took a long time, it is still taking a long time I should say, for me to put away that kind of co-dependency.

I’ve never ‘slept with’ or had an affair with another woman’s husband to my knowledge; have never cheated on a man I was married to (and I was married and divorced, happily divorced, three times); have never done illicit street or illegal prescription drugs; have never had a problem with alcoholism; have never engaged in a lesbian relationship (and don’t care to); have never stolen anything and knew I was stealing if it happened; have never really lied except to protect a loved one or someone’s reputation when it became absolutely necessary; and have never in my entire life killed, maimed, raped, or molested anyone or their children.

After more than 50 years of consistently living the best life I could, even without reading any of T.D. Jakes’ or Joel Osteen’s “instructional books” on How-To do it, I will not be easily put off by those who think I think I’m above it all.

I can no longer make their problems or issues mine.

Yes, I do spend more time praying than I do watching television, but I also spend more time acting than I do talking…especially when the only appropriate response for a prayer IS to act accordingly.

Old African Proverb says “When you pray, move your ass” … I mean “move your feet.”

Martin Luther King Jr. and so many thousands of others set a perfect(ed) example of that in spite of their human failures and errors. They were honest about their personal spiritual truths and then acted on them even though the moment dictated that they could be killed for it.

Being “perfect(ed)” doesn’t mean a person is perfect.

No one is Perfect, save the Savior Himself. In order to be Perfect, you have to have not even so much as made a HUMAN ERROR, or a bad decision; and I confess to not escaping “such as is common to all humanity.”

That said, I want to encourage those who feel like they have to bow down to the words “I’m not perfect” and “It’s not all about me” every time someone says so. It’s not necessary to say so, it’s a given.

But if you have lived a PERFECTED Life, then stand up proudly and smile about it.

It is a craft and a skill, as well as extremely hard to do.

Pat yourself on the back even, because this is a world that will throw everything at you AND ALONG WITH the kitchen sink to get you to compromise, bend over, and toss out your God-given principles, ethics, morals, and scruples for something that is not worth it in the long run.

I am a living witness and a testimony that those “temptations” come with long-term consequences; and that is not a result of “God playing us like pawns on a chessboard,” that’s a direct result of a lack of understanding when there is nothing left to interpret between the letters “N” and “O.”

True perfection means that just because you CAN do something wrong doesn’t mean that you HAVE to, or that you are obliged or obligated to do it.

Perfectedness calls for tons of self-restraint, self-control, and a moral compass that is not easily attained nor kept in check in this lifetime.