For the last few years, there has been a recurring narrative about the “Single Black Woman’s Dilemma”.

We’ve all heard the damning statistics – Black women supposedly have a better chance of getting struck by lightning, run over by a Mack truck, or challenged to a twerking contest by Bill O’Reilly than they do of receiving a marriage proposal.

Celebrities like Steve Harvey, Hill Harper and even Tyrese Gibson have written books and capitalized on this phenomenon, doling out their sage-like wisdom to legions of anxious Black women willing to shell out their hard-earned figures for books, seminars, and match-making services.

Hollywood has cashed in too. Movies and TV shows frequently depict emotionally damaged, perpetually lonely Sistas in three main archetypes: The defiant, career-obsessed spinster who “don’t need no man”; the bitter, jilted baby mama; and everybody’s favorite-the shameless THOT who’ll creep with someone’s husband because a part-time man is better than no man at all.

A recent Lifetime movie told the story of three girlfriends who made a ridiculous vow – to marry within a year by any means necessary, to whomever was willing, even if it meant forsaking genuine love and compatibility. This was all for the sake of meeting a self-imposed deadline.

And by now you’ve all heard the story of Yasmin Eleby, the Houston woman who decided, in a very unconventional way, to guarantee herself a trip down the aisle –by throwing a lavish wedding ceremony with the help of friends and family where she made the ultimate commitment to nobody but her-damn-self.

Is this all a bleak indication of how dire the marriage prospects have become for Black women? Is the struggle really that real?

Is this all a bleak indication of how dire the marriage prospects have become for Black women? Is the struggle really that real?

I call BS.

Hopefully, by now you’ve been informed that the statistics regarding the marriage rates of Black women have been skewed and do not account for those who are single by choice, unmarried but living with a long term partner, or fall outside the target demographic for whom marriage is being studied. And even if those figures are accurate, what’s with the sudden interest? Since when has America been overly concerned with the well-being and personal fulfillment of Black women that they can’t profit from?

In February 2013, two professors from Norfolk State University conducted a study on black marital role models in the public eye, and found that President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama were “the strongest and most visible example of black love and happy marriage in the USA”. Their study also found that 82% of Black adults believe that the Obama’s can influence Black marriage in positive ways.

I know what you’re thinking. That’s fine for the First Family, but what does that have to do with the rest of us?

Maybe the motivation to form and sustain loving, healthy unions in our communities had to be thwarted. Once you encourage Black men and women to rebuild the foundation of their families, you also empower them to become more emotionally and spiritually balanced, more financially stable, and able to compete more equitably in society.

The idea of emphasizing – or exaggerating – a disadvantage in Black women’s ability to get married might sound like an oddball conspiracy theory, but don’t rule out the possibility of a grand social experiment to impact our progress. We all know it’s been done before.

It’s time to take all of these viral stories, sappy movies, and dysfunctional narratives about our love lives and call them what they are – social programming.

The issue exists, but it has been taken entirely out of perspective; and we all must remember that perception can and will create reality.