“Sometimes you got to hurt something to help something. Sometimes you have to plow under one thing in order for something else to grow.”
-Ernest Gaines
If anything, I personally believe that having people that doubt your goals is the cornerstone of success. It’s so vindicating to prove them wrong! It’s so sweet to show them your finished product and watch them backtrack and eat their words. It’s almost bittersweet.
If you study human nature (or observe the occurrences around you) you tend to see that people who are unsuccessful tend to want to radiate their negativity on the people around them, especially the BMB’s (Business Minded Brothers) and SRT’s (Sisters Running Things). Simply put, they are crabs in the bucket. No matter how hard you work to achieve your goals, you always have somebody trying to knock you down. The fact that we have haters isn’t what infuriates me. It’s natural to be aroused envy and want what you don’t have. My problem is with people that allow haters to get them off track.
Haters, doubters and dream-killers should be used as motivation. Prove them wrong! However, many people use the mass amount of haters around them as some sort of way to justify their own insecurities and doubts. To many unconfident people, the hate they receive is some sort of divine intervention to tell them that the goal they set for themselves and are working so hard to achieve isn’t worth it.
But people think they know about haters. Sometimes, navigating around these negative sub-humans is easier said than done. High schools around the nation are the home of the harshest breed of haters. I don’t care if it’s a public, private or charter school. Haters are classless and race less! Trust me, I know! I experienced a large level of hate as I wrote my novel The Diary of Aaliyah Anderson.
My haters kept trying to discourage me from writing the story by repeatedly stating that I was writing a “girl story”. Let’s throw the fact that women are the top consumers and that they buy an exuberantly larger amount of books than men out the window. No, something is wrong with me because of the fact that I’m writing a novel that the young women around me can relate to and will pay top dollar to read! My sexuality was even called to question! I killed that non-sense off quick but that doesn’t take away from the fact that haters went that far to spite me.
I’m not God! Yeah, what they were saying did get to me. It was a point in my life where I was trying my best to conform to the trends that were being set around me instead of being a trend-setter and having dozens of my peers (who are trend-setters in their own right) come up to me and say that I’ve inspired them. I even chronicled my journey in my novel. As an artist, it’s always beneficial to have outlets to express yourself. And my way of expression was my proverbial pen and paper. I battled my haters using my writing, effectively proving that the pen is truly mightier than the sword. Well, at least in this situation!
“After watching that, every pent up emotion that I’d been holding in forced its way out. I ran out the library and to the girl’s bathroom and cried harder than I did that night in the parking lot. The lil’ bit of makeup that I put on was completely ruined. I let off so many tears that my head started hurting.
‘And this also shows you that my opponent isn’t the perfect princess of Willowsfield that people think she is.’
Her words just echoed through my head.
‘Maybe she’s right….I couldn’t even prevent what happened to Allison when I had a perfect chance to. I’ve treated ‘Kiyah horribly this whole entire campaign. I should’ve been there to stop her from continuing to go after those girls. I should’ve been the one in that hospital bed…….’ I said to myself between sobs.
All of a sudden, the bell rang and I heard footsteps coming towards me. I didn’t even bother to hide myself from whoever was coming.
‘Who even cares? Everybody probably feels the exact same way that Latasha does.’ I thought to myself as I sat on the floor, still crying my eyes out.
However, I saw that it was Dasia that was coming into the bathroom. She pulled me up by the arms and gave me a huge hug.
‘I just knew you were in here, ‘Liyah. Don’t let what Latasha said get you down. You’re still the best candidate in this election.’
‘I told you I wasn’t cut out for all this!’ I said in between sobs, ‘I told both you and Miss Carter that!’
‘Don’t say that! You are perfect for this job. Latasha just used her resources to attack your self-esteem. She knew how you were feeling after that incident with Allison. It’s time for us to use what you have.’
I sniffled and wiped my eyes, ‘If you say so, Dasia.’
She smiled and put her arm around my shoulder, ‘Trust me, I know so. You’re gonna win this election. I know exactly what I personally need to do to help with the cause, too.’”
-Excerpt from the forthcoming young adult novel “The Diary of Aaliyah Anderson: Volume II”
Don’t let your haters get the satisfaction of seeing you fall. Use them not only as motivation but as an accessory to your success. The excerpt above from my novel is one of the scenes I got the most feedback on. If anything, Aaliyah’s struggle to be a successful young woman in the negative environment of Willowsfield defined the novel. It evoked sympathy. It made the reader root for Aaliyah to get it together. It built a connection with the story.
Simply put, I used the negativity that was thrown at me and made it positive!
Arleen “Nawlinz” Robinson
I never quite understood the concept of hating or being a hater. It baffles me how some people can put so much effort and energy into intentionally down playing a person and/or a person’s accomplishments. It is a very alarming attitude to possess.
To All My Haters:
We must come to grips with reality. Not every person is free from blemish, is perfect or free from sin. Stop looking for flaws and imperfections in others. We all have made mistakes and have made unwise decisions at some point in our lives. The beauty about life is, although you cannot go back and change the past, you can learn from it. You can make conscientious decisions not to repeat the same mistakes, to be influenced and determined to do better and be better.
So regardless of how Mr. Joe Blow Success may have been in the past or no matter the trials and tribulations he has gone through, if he has accomplished something, achieved something, attained something; that is great. That means he did not give up, that means he did not take the low road, that means he did not allow his setbacks to detour his path, yet had faith and perseverance to use set his setbacks as stepping-stones to his greater comeback. It does not matter how he started, as long as he finished.
Therefore, I pose the question, why be a hater? Because he did something, something you could not do or you were afraid to do? Do you hate because you are envious? Do you hate because you wish it were you?
Instead of being a hater, try analyzing what he did and how he did it to become successful. Try asking him for his story because trust and believe, you only know what you perceive. You have no clue, no earthly idea as to what it took that person to get where they are. You only see their glory but you do not know their story.
Each one of us is divinely created uniquely for a reason. We each have our own purpose, our own gifts, our own talents, and our own journeys. Reality check: what is written for you is not written for the next person. Therefore, I challenge you to shift your valuable time and effort used to hate on Mr. Joe Blow Success or Mrs. JoAnn Blow Success and try creating YOUR own vision, YOUR dreams, YOUR own moment, YOUR own goals, YOUR own lane, and YOUR own story. Because each time you blow negative whispers or throw shade, you are hindering your blessings. Newsflash, the person you are being a hater to is not skipping a beat or a step while you hate on him or her.
To My Movers, Shakers and Doers:
There is a saying, “Champions don’t become champions in the ring, they are merely recognized there.” People will see your success but they will not know your struggle or what sacrifices it took for you to get there. They do not know how you had to bend and bend to the point of back snapping flexibility, yet you did not break. They will not know the brow sweating efforts and work you put forth into your vision, your craft or your business.
Reality check: Haters are going to hate regardless. It is what it is so let the haters be your motivators. They are indeed your biggest cheerleaders. Use their weak emotions and insecurities to fuel your fire and keep pushing towards your greatness. Do not allow people who down play you and your accomplishments, try to block your way or sabotage you to stop your blessings.
Continue to take bold leaping steps and watch how they will fall from your path. Remember, they cannot stand in the path of the righteous. Nothing can stop a bold stepper. Nothing can stop someone on a focused mission. If you remain faithful, humble, ready, willing and worthy, your blessings and possibilities are unlimited.
Key Takeaways: We need to rid ourselves of toxic behaviors that clutter our atmosphere with saturated negative energy and thoughts regarding each other. Negative energy and thoughts are poisonous and tend to influence how we view life and how we treat others.
We need to learn to embrace and empower each other instead of tearing down and attempting to rip each other to pieces. We must learn to support and be happy for our brothers and sisters. Everyone has the right to pursue his or her dreams and goals. Shooting them down because they take a step forward is not a reason to hate. Instead, learn to encourage, not discourage.
Connect with Nawlinz on Facebook and receive daily morning motivation:
https://www.facebook.com/nawlinz.robinson
-We came, we saw, we conquered! My debut publishing effort “Riverview High: Circumstances” reached #2 on the Amazon charts! Check it out on Amazon today. Don’t forget to leave a review!
-“The Diary Of Aaliyah Anderson” is out now! Make sure to go get it!
Do you have any questions, comments or concerns? Was I right or wrong on this issue? I would love to hear from you! Contact me directly at:
Email: [email protected]
Kik: @AuthorRandallB
Ask.Fm: @YoungandGiftedBooks
Twitter: @AuthorRandallB
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/randall.barnes.501
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