Even though we have switched gears and other issues are currently at the forefront, there are still way too many stories in the media today about our epidemic of bullying going on both inside school as well as outside school. I have wanted to share my thoughts on this subject for months but never got around to it. What made me think about the issue was my son coming home from elementary school with a backpack full of documents, pamphlets, handouts, etc, explaining to these 1^st graders what bullying was and how to stop it. Me being the parent I am, I asked my 7 year old what he got out of the presentations. It would seem that there was a school assembly where the children were given speeches by administrators as well as law enforcement about the dangers of bullying and what to do if you are a victim of bullying.

Not being one to challenge authority (cough, cou***bullshit***gh, cough), I take them at their word that they are simply trying to protect the children from a phenomenon that has gotten out of control. If you look at many school shootings, many of the perpetrators are children who have always been seen as outcasts or been bullied by the “cool kids.” So I get it, bullying bad, acceptance of others good. What distresses me is the definition of bullying and what school officials consider bullying. What used to be considered normal character building childhood events are now categorized as quasi-criminal events that are sometimes used to mark a child’s future. I’m sure there is not one single one of us who at one time during their childhood was not “picked on” by someone else. In the chaotic world of conflicting loyalties that childhood is, you were “in” the group on Monday, only to be ostracized on Tuesday and re accepted on Wednesday. Therein lays the problem.

We as adults seek to interject our adult sensibilities into the normal world of children. We do this for many reasons, up to and including trying to right wrongs done to us when we were children. We remember how we felt when we were eight years old and the little girl in homeroom made everyone laugh at us because our shoes were old and dirty. We remember how everyone laughed at us during gym class when we struck out playing baseball, so now we push our children to endure sports at young ages whether they want to play or not. We as parents now demand that our children be considered as winners no matter whether they actually won the race or not. That leads to a generation of average children who cannot deal with adversity or rejection. As they age and enter puberty with all of its attached difficulties, this child now has to deal with the added burden of not being the “princess” or “king” that their parents always told them they were. This leads to built up anger and non-conformity and sometimes to violent expression.

When we were younger, we fought, played the dozens, entered into groups, fell out of favor with groups, argued and were still friends after all was said and done. Today, schools administrators and parents in their zeal to stamp out “bullying” in all its various forms rob children of the opportunity to deal with life’s problems. Children today have no interpersonal mitigation skills because they haven’t had to deal with it. Everything that schools today call bullying is not bullying but simply children being children, half formed adults who have no filter. These filtering techniques develop later in life when children mature. By adults mitigating each and every little perceived slight that a child may encounter keeps that kid in a protective bubble. This bubble is popped usually around middle school when there are no adults to settle disputes and the child has no defense mechanism to deal with mundane problems. We see the results of these wrong-headed policies when we see beautiful children committing suicide because ONE person told them they were ugly or the “cool kids” refused them entry in the group. We see them lash out at those perceived slights by shooting up schools because no one came to their aid like they did in elementary school.

To add insult to injury, many school systems with their zero tolerance for bullying tag so-called bullies with predator tags that follow them throughout their school career. This leads to being barred from good schools, extra harsh discipline for normal acts of defiance and in the most egregious cases criminal records. When we used to fight in school, it was usually a few punches thrown, a trip to the principal’s office, notification to our parents, occasionally a suspension and shaking hands afterward. Now with the added influx of camera phones, school fights turn into entertainment for the world to see. Our timelines on FB are replete with KIDS going in hard over who sent a tweet to who. Worldstar Hip Hop has built a multimillion dollar business off the acts of children fighting in school or the streets over things that years ago would not have garnered a second thought. These videos are increasingly finding their way into the hands of law enforcement who are ready, willing and able to levy felony charges against 15 year olds fighting over who likes who or who said what to who on Twitter or Facebook. These multibillion dollar corporations bear the brunt of this problem in that they have no policy denying the posting of these types of videos. To them, the better the fight the more likes and views, the more views, the more ad-dollars generated.

We as parents need to push back at that. If you have a prohibition against nudity, its a short step to prohibit violence in any form. It would make for a much better, much safer environment for our children. We, especially UI members need to immediately flag a vid if it contains violence of any sort. What that does is force FB or Twitter to take down the offending video. Start using the rules against these culture vultures who seem to think its cute to watch children of any color fight and bloody each other for someone on the other side of the planet’s enjoyment. We also need to begin to visit our children’s schools en masse. Start community groups to patrol the hallways, sit in on classes, sit in the lunchrooms and through the power of vigilance and observation quell these conflicts before they start. Yes we have jobs, but many of us don’t or either have the flexibility to spend a day or two in the school. The point is, it must be a community effort. Out of 100 parents there should be a way for at least five to ten individuals to divide up the week to the point that the school is always covered. If we can find the time and effort to “turn up” on the weekend, we owe it to our children to be there to protect them at school.

Drops mic and walks from stage drippin blackness