It’s been 14 years since the release of the song “Independent Women Pt. I” by Destiny’s Child from the Charlie’s Angels Soundtrack. To refresh our memories, the lyrics from the first stanza go a little something like this:

“Question, Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I’m feelin’ lonely
When it’s all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships

The shoes on my feet
I’ve bought it
The clothes I’m wearing
I’ve bought it
The rock I’m rockin’
‘Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you’re wearin’
I’ll buy it
The house I live in
I’ve bought it
The car I’m driving
I’ve bought it
I depend on me”

The song was the unofficial kick-off for the phenomenon known as the “Independent Woman” movement that ensued in the following years, spearheaded by Beyonce. It seems like a good time to revisit the concept of the “Independent Woman” movement, how it has shaped perception of Black women and its contribution to the way Black men and women have related to one another over the decade.

Some have called it a feminist movement; some call it an automatic response to the powerful forces that took a toll on the social mobility of Black men in America requiring Black women to step up and take the reins in the home and workforce to fill the gaps. One might even determine the so-called movement to simply have been Black women doing what they naturally have done when necessary, across time and space.

Lack of awareness that Black women have sat in powerful positions throughout human history made such a concept of independence in this society seem foreign. Black women had been forced to take a backseat on the world history timeline; however separation from the knowledge that women have held positions at the top of social hierarchy is most likely why the “independent woman” is unsettling for Black American culture. Many of us are not exposed to matriarchal societies that exist even today around the globe. We don’t collectively know that men in dominant positions in the home and society are of European origin, known as patriarchy. It doesn’t require in-depth research knowledge to find out that this isn’t primarily the African way as we have been taught. Most importantly, independent did not have to become synonymous with “not needing a man.”

I have come up with an anecdotal perspective of what it means to be an “Independent Woman”, as I have obviously lived the life and observed many other Black women embracing the “lifestyle”- for lack of a better term- either by choice or circumstance. My hope is to help us move toward a more expanded awareness that being strong, intelligent, and stepping up to take care of business without asking anyone for permission wasn’t something that came along in modern history for us. It wasn’t a movement created for us or by us. Rather it’s who we are and what we do.
The furnishing of our homes, purchasing of trips, merchandise of any kind, homes, or vehicles using money we earned are acts of necessity whether a man is romantically present or not. Sure it’s nice when anyone bestows said items or acts upon us, but if we need or desire these things, we make it happen. If we want to take ourselves to the spa, to breakfast, lunch, dinner or brunch, a concert, go out with the girls and come home at a late hour, we simply do it. I am not sure either at what point in social history that desire for solitude reading a book, taking a bath, changing hair color, cooking or baking for self, became labeled as anti-Black, man-shunning behaviors-but it happened.

Ladies, independence does not give us credence to write our Brothas off as unnecessary or useless in our lives. It is my humble opinion that we have entered a new era of relating to men and there is a way to balance independent natures and still have fulfilling lives that allow us freedom to grow and explore, but with a good man to complement. No more pretending and living in denial that you don’t need a man. I do believe that the independent “movement” was a necessary phase in our social evolution in this society; one that has allowed us to find the strength and beauty of who we are, knowing that we have the capacity to run the equivalent of kingdoms if we had to, but bringing us into the knowledge that without equally strong Black men by our sides, we cannot build and create. In part 2, I want to give the concept purpose and direction, and how we can utilize what has been depicted as a threat to masculinity and community, to return us all to dynasty. It may seem contradictory, but I want to prove that all roads, even those traveled alone, lead to unity.

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