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“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
-Coco Chanel
“Black men ain’t sh*t!!!”
Man, that’s something that I’ve heard all too many times during my teenage years. For years, black women in their early to late thirties and older have expressed their displeasure in the dating scene. Since there’s only a small amount of brothers that aren’t married, in jail or gay, many sisters have found it incredibly hard to find a man worth settling down and building a family with. And many of the brothers they do happen to get with don’t desire to be in monogamous relationship. Simply put they don’t want to be locked down, even at an age where it’s a viable option.
In response to this, and the influence of social media growing every year, many black women have taken their dating frustrations and made it a daily trending topic. Brothers like Steve Harvey capitalized on this new hot topic and became self-appointed relationship experts. Women flocked to Amazon, Wal-Mart and traditional bookstores and bought millions of copies of Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, desperately hoping to find useful tactics to find that right guy. The project solidified Steve Harvey as a universal household name and a New York Times best-selling author, a title that every ambitious author wants to take on in their respective careers.
In this battle, it seems like Steve Harvey and other journalists and relationship experts are the only ones benefiting. In the media, black men have been dismissed unless they’re a rapper, actor, comedian or sports player. Black men who use their intellect as their claim to fame are seemingly invisible on all fronts. However, it seems like my generation (90’s babies) are starting to turn the tide. A couple of months ago, a video was uploaded from a group of young men that attend Central High School in Indianapolis. In the video the young men, dressed to impress in business casual attire, attempted to shatter the notion that black men’s achievements are only pigeon holed to entertainment and sports.
A screenshot from the video.
This video went on to garner 160,992 views and viral success. I was honestly surprised! Positive propaganda like that is rarely paid attention to. I’m saying this from experience. My article Three Reasons Why Most Of The Youth Don’t Have A Chance At Success, has been my most viewed article to date, with over 300 likes on the Urban Intellectuals web page and numerous shares on Facebook and Twitter. Even though I tried to put a positive spin on the topic, many people took the time to point out even more issues that plague the youth instead of joining in on brainstorming on solutions.
The story is different for my article You Gotta Have Fun Sometimes (A Manifesto). Overtly positive, they story barely got half the attention as the before mentioned article did. Now, don’t get it twisted. I’m not complaining at all! I’m just pointing out a clear observation. Negativity seems to be more well received than positivity. And I think it’s a major problem.
Young black men are using the positive and negative example of our elders and are making major moves. Let this fact be known! Of course, we’re experiencing major problems in our fight. Black-on-black crime and the high school dropout rate are still at an astronomical high. Every day, the prison system of America grabs up another load of our young men and make them new slaves, both metaphorically and literally. However, BMB’s (Business Minded Brothers) are still succeeding.
If you want to express your displeasure in black men, I ask you to please not generalize. As a matter of fact say, “Some black men ain’t sh*t!”. I can even live with, “Most black men ain’t sh*t!”. Nevertheless, there still is a sector of black men that warrant respect and attention.
Young women, there are a wide realm of good black men to choose from. We’re not accepting that “I can’t find a good man” excuse anymore! One song I’ve really been vibing to as of late is No Worries by singer Dwele off of Robert Glasper’s latest album Black Radio 2. In it Dwele sings the lyrics:
“All the girls say that all the good guys are gone
But I’ve been standing right here all along
Right under your nose
But you were looking for something else”
Earlier last week, I was having a sit-down discussion with a good friend of mine. Like me, he’s a BMB with mountains of potential, charisma and talent. Our conversation shifted to the topic of dating and eligible females at our high school. I expressed my views and frustrations on what I see around us on a daily basis. He echoed my same sentiments. He even went as far as to say that I should consider interracial dating. To sum up his opinion in a nutshell, he believes that black women in our age group aren’t ready to deal with a man of means and intellect.
With me being an avid lover of black women, I tried to offer up a suitable defense to his comments but it was rather hard. Of course, we agreed that not all of the young black women at our school are undesirable. We have a few SRT’s (Sisters Running Things)! But, it seems a vast majority of them aren’t ready to seriously deal with good brother. A lot of them don’t even want to. From what I’ve experienced, brothers with their heads on their shoulders are looked down upon.
Often, BMB’s are pushed to the side completely. The thugs and players truly have the pick of the litter in this environment. It’s no big thing though. It’s just how the game goes. High school has been that way for the longest time. And I honestly don’t see it changing any time soon. The corporate media structure is too much of a dominate force in the community. Also, many of these females are coming from broken homes where there fathers are no good deadbeats that pop in and out their lives, if he’s even seen at all. In those circumstances, what would a young black woman know about spotting a BMB or a half way decent guy that treats them right?
My goal is to inspire a change. I’m trying to start a provocative discussion on our social relationships. A war isn’t started until the first move is made or the first shot is fired. Consider my novels and various articles as the first shot in a battle to bring sanity back to the world. Looking at the phenomenal stories that have spread around the various social media websites about young people finding success, I see that I’m not in this fight alone.
Sisters, it’s time to get your minds right! BMB’s around the nation need you. Like the famous quote says, “Behind every great man is a great woman”.
We came, we saw, we conquered! My debut publishing effort “Riverview High: Circumstances” reached #2 on the Amazon charts! Check it out on Amazon today. Don’t forget to leave a review!
“The Diary Of Aaliyah Anderson” is dropping this month!
Read The Pre-Release Preview: https://payhip.com/b/DhLU
Do you have any questions, comments or concerns? Was I right or wrong on this issue? I would love to hear from you! Contact me directly at:
Email: [email protected]
Kik: @AuthorRandallB
Ask.Fm: @YoungandGiftedBooks
Twitter: @AuthorRandallB
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/randall.barnes.501
Also, check out my forthcoming novel The Diary of Aaliyah Anderson on Wattpad:
http://www.wattpad.com/story/6314747-the-diary-of-aaliyah-anderson
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