I listen to  a LOT of radio.  I spend quite a bit of time in my car, and sometimes traffic will lead me to listen to more comedic radio than informative radio.  Last year I was listening to the Strawberry Letter on the SHMS, when I heard a letter that nearly blew my mind.  Disclaimer: The point of this piece is not to promote a certain religious philosophy or theology over another.  I simply would like to take a stab at explaining why a woman who says she is “Church Going” and “God Fearing” should have the ability to stand on her own two feet, and argue that this type of woman should be the norm as opposed to the exception.

So, back to the letter.  The woman who wrote in described herself as an educated, confident, hard working, church going, God fearing, independent woman who was running into a problem holding on to men.  There isn’t enough time to cover all of the things I found wrong with this desperate cry for help by writing to a morning show.  What stood out to me, however, was the fact that she wrote about her qualities as if they were some sort of novelty.  Since she opened the door of being “Church going” & “God fearing”, I figured I’d explore the idea which sent me straight to Proverbs 31:10-31.  According to these verses a woman is SUPPOSED to possess all of the qualities this woman claimed to have and then some.

 Let’s start with V. 10.  A woman is supposed to be of noble character.  This includes being kind, loving, generous, disciplined, courageous, etc.  As a matter of fact, if you google “noble character”,  some of the top results point straight to the Proverbs 31 description of women.  V. 11 says that her husband has full confidence in her.  How can a man have confidence in a woman who doesn’t have confidence in herself?  Make no mistake, there is a difference between being conceited and confident.  But if you don’t know the difference, I’d imagine you don’t know which characteristic you are portraying.  I’d submit, however, not knowing the difference may be an indication that you are personifying the wrong characteristic (or at least the less desirable of the two).

   V. 12 is, in my opinion, one of the deepest verses of this passage.  “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (NIV).  This should be enough to make you want to really, really consider if you are up to the task.  ALL OF MY DAYS? ALL OF THEM? I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I can commit to ALL of my days.  Maybe most of them….but I digress.  Bringing a man good, not harm, is far from an easy task.  What about when he’s getting on your last nerve? What about when he breaks his commitments?  What about….? Well, what about it?

   V. 13-19, 22, & 24 talk about how a woman is supposed to work hard.  And I mean HARD.  V. 20 talks about the fact that a woman is supposed to be giving and willing to take care of the poor.  So, if you work hard and are an upstanding member of your community, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.   I have to stop and take some time with V. 25-27.

        She is clothed with strength and dignity;  she can laugh at the days to come.

       She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

      She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness

   This is a woman who can be trusted, and you never think twice about it.  This is a woman whose instruction you WANT to follow because you know she won’t steer you wrong.  You WANT to go to her for advice, because you know that she’ll impart knowledge upon you, all the while keeping your business your’s.  This is a woman who is too busy minding her own affairs, to be concerned with telling others about your’s.  She knows her role and plays it to perfection!

   Because of all she’s done, V. 28-29 talk about how her children and husband simply praise & adore her.  How could they not?  V.30 reiterates that a woman whose spiritual life is in tact  should be praised.  Finally, V. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.   Basically, if she is able to stand on her own two feet, yet knows how to let her man be the man, honor her.

   But, as V.10 indicates, finding this woman isn’t going to be easy.  A man may have to search high and low to find her.  To the women who are doing their thing, with strength, confidence, and humility, I say keep doing what you do.  It’s possible that God isn’t done working on the man who is supposed to find you yet.  And, if you find yourself wanting to write into a morning show with a desperate cry for help, write to a mentor, a mom, an aunt or a best friend…or, just turn to the pages of the Holy Book of your religious philosophy and get a reminder that being independent is EXACTLY what you are supposed to be.