At least once a day, I hear someone mention that the black community needs to be able to stick together if we are going to manage problems that exist within our community.  I could not agree more, but a sense of community goes beyond spending money with black businesses, the way we treat one another on a day-to-day basis also says a lot about a community or lack thereof.

I have started and stopped this blog on more than one occasion.  I was going back and forth about my reason for writing it, meaning I was trying to decide if I was entertaining this blog because someone got under my last nerve or if it was because the behavior of a few was indeed, indicative of something much bigger.  I decided that the latter of the two was more applicable.

I was involved in an online discussion the other day regarding a comment made by Tavis Smiley towards the NRA and the Trayvon Martin case. The conversation went back and forth with myself and one other person just fine for a little while, as a matter of fact, she made a point with which I agreed and I let her know that she had a point by simply typing “touche”.  Touche… who knew that one simple word would lead this conversation into a whole ‘nother issue………(I have changed the names in the conversation to protect the ignorant……)

Girl #1:  Whats Touche?? Some gay dialect? or a new scented douche?? Lol

Random Dude:  Personal lubricant

Girl #2:  Right? Lol

Me:  LOL @ a scented douche, lubricant or map to a dictionary….lol, take a pick…lol.

Girl #2:  definitely not to the dictionary. Not one that I use anyway. Do gays have they own dictionary? Or is it a book for the blind that you speak of. Lol

Me:  Gurl, it’s in Websster’s.. which one are you using?

Side Note:  Now, this conversation has already gotten way off topic, however, there is just one more way for this to go……. you know what that is right??  Wait for it……

Girl #1:  Looks like she’s been hanging around to many white folks. Only Blacks that use that word are gay or just weird. Even you dont use it “Random Guy”. Lol

Side Note:  BAM!!  There it is…. but wait…there’s more.

Me:  Oh I’m “weird”… I own that… I am unsure what white folks have to do with anything. If a simple word gets your attention, I’d love to see how you are with flashing lights and shiny things.

You all have a great weekend……… *Waves*

Girl #2:  Never had the occasion to look up use the word “Touche”. We don’t do that!

Interesting….my perception of this whole conversation, other than it was stupid and off topic goes back to the same classic garbage, if someone says or does something that is not in “lock step” with what “black folks” think,  then so much for a sense of community.  I seldom see this same kind of pettiness with men but I have seen it with black women in many occasions.  We have to do better than that.

At the end of the day, we do not have some committee sitting at a table that gets to decide that one is “black enough” or not.  There are no “ghetto” “hood” “black” or “certified African-American” cards that get stamped when we act in a manner that is considered acceptable by black folks or no card that can be pulled because one chooses to use a term such as “Touche”……. even if it is archaic.  I think that many black women spend too much time picking apart one another that we often forget that we are our own best friends and our own worst enemies.  I also believe that black women should be an integral part of this new “black community” that so many are dedicated to building to help strengthen families, raise children and hopefully prosper.

I used the “touche” incident to give an example of how easy it is to miss the big picture or to get sidetracked by something so simple and petty as the word “touche”.  The discussion was about how the NRA had not come out publicly to suggest that had Trayvon Martin been carrying a gun the night he was killed that he may still be alive.  In a sense, we were discussing if it was ever going to be truly necessary for young people to have to arm themselves in our community and in others to simply make a run to and from the store.  I think that is much more important than the word “touche” and whether or not one may have gotten the word from “white folks”.

Black women… we really should spend a lot less time being petty and a lot more time embracing one another’s differences, learning from one another and trying to help the rest of our community.

Just my thoughts………….