In reviewing an abridged copy of “Sex & The Saints”
written authored by Natasha David-Walker (a Sis-Star in her own right) with many anonymous stories from people who actually went through the various sexual hells that happen INSIDE the sanctuary, I have to say that I was wowed from the very beginning.
Ask anyone who truly knows me, I am a deep lover of COMPLEX tales that make other people’s heads pop off and THINK, it’s not that easy to WOW me. I don’t like formula stories (soaps, etc.) for that very reason. No “mental afterglow,” LOL.
It’s overwhelming to be lost in your own shadows and have someone just come right out and say what you’re thinking, but are fearful of verbalizing.
Yes, I said that sho-nuff damnable F-word, fear: Fake Evangelism Appearing Real.
The only thing I’ve been afraid of facing is my own beginnings as an Unwanted Zygote, but David-Walker comes out unabashed and unashamed of the sperm donor who brought her magnificence to the world stage.
I found my own parental beginnings a daunting task and a bitter pill to swallow, especially considering the Hollywood-Utopian ideas that go along with being born of “True Love.” The ABC-TV series “Once Upon a Time” called true love “odd, rare, unique, special, and unusual.” So hard to come by that it has to be bottled ‘just right’ and saved for special occasions as if it is a rare and pricey bottle of champagne or “The Heart of the Ocean”.
Out of the ordinary you say? To be born to two people who were in love rather than in lust for a brief moment in time? Indeed.
Then along comes David-Walker and slam-dunks the holy heck out of what I had been sensing all along. It’s creepy, this feeling of being an “accident” that shouldn’t have happened that I was sensing, but she tackles it like fine wine, mellow and haunting.
I will finish this fine wine off by stating that NOBODY is an accident. Not even me.
Dick Gregory, ‘ancestry rest him’ because he didn’t believe in God so he said, put it down like this, paraphrased: “Don’t tell ME you aren’t a strong person; hell, you out-raced and beat down 500,000 (half a BILLION) other spermatozoa trying to get here .. you ain’t that weak!”
Yeah, I’m not giving out spoilers because you need to read the book yourself. Serrsly.
David-Walker pulls you in, tricks you into thinking she’s into apologetics, then veers off in a direction that is deeper than even the cover gives away. She knows she may not be the absolute epitome of perfection in all of her syntax and grammar (who is?), but she also knows she needs to say what has to be said and that you, Dear Reader, will not only catch up, but keep up and stay focused on the message.
You Won’t Be Sex-Shamed
Trust me, most church folk are not going to shamed into stopping what they are doing by reading this book, but I’d be willing to bet they never wake up another morning after without having a “daymare” of spiritual conviction. If that was the intent, it was achieved masterfully.
If you were or are looking for a magic bullet to make the urge go away, then read on. It made me back up a couple of steps myself, obligatory “LOL.”
I don’t need to talk about my own experience with this matter to make this abundantly clear: David-Walker cuts no ice with the BS on the way into this journey. However, she does veer away from using the explicit lyrics that I’ve often had to use with my own readers.
As a certain character played by Kathy Bates on the movie “Primary Colors” said … Libby Holden: “Oh grow up! He’s poked his pecker in some sorry trash bins!” (speaking of presidential candidate Jack Stanton, played by John Travolta.)
Well… Nobody’s [TRYING to be] that perfect.
But we’re all adults here. I hope.
Three Points of Reference
“My parents fell in lust during “The Revolution” also called, the Civil Rights Movement. Many a shelf contains a volume dedicated to the love/lust phenomenon that produced what is idyllically termed “love children” during the late 60’s, and the 70’s….how fleeting the love that transpires during eras of unrest, discontent, and strife, the power of lust cannot the darting emotion contain.”
If you are a child born of a one-night stand or a momentary short-term “fling” between two confused young people, then this section alone will smack the shame slap off your face. She attacks it in a few words, expounds for a moment, then says, in essence, “My conception on the so-called VIRGIN Islands was a joke … until it wasn’t any more.”
She speaks vividly about the spooning her mother got by her father, coming to the Islands to find an advanced revolutionary like herself only to discover that she was sexually ransacked and lied to like many other women of the 1960s and ’70s. It was that “sexual revolution Love Child time,” and panties dropped on a dime.
“If it feels good, do it?”
At some point, that’s a deal-breaker. It truly is.
David-Walker doesn’t trifle with the role of the enemy (Satan) in these matters, either.
“The enemy (Satan) comes but for to steal, kill, and destroy. He knows no other way to deal with God’s people. Like a wolf to a lamb, there are no alternatives to consummation. … He cannot but consume your flesh. He leaves nothing for the next. He is selfishly sexual. He is into relations, not relationships. His plan is simple; confound the word of God by making whores of the daughters of Zion.”
Listen … it’s not a call to shame anyone similarly situated. It’s just the truth about the enemy’s true motives and intentions.
There is a mission out there to use the Brothas to totally destroy and mock the lives of Black women. And that is NOT to say that there are not some pretty treacherous women out there who use sex to break up marriages, friendships, and even cause chaos in the church, as well. Black women get so little credit for their hard work in this world, it often seems the only way to end up feeling like “somebody” in life is to become “Da Fust Ladee of De Chuch,” any kind of way it takes to get there.
David-Walker doesn’t even bother to leave out the many publicity-hungry females who became “celebrities” only because of their ability to sit on it and spin.
The enemy is on a mission against women, particularly the Sisteren. It’s only too easy to use Black men to bring us down, then shame us after they are done, then toss us away for the next woman with severe emotional issues and a ‘destroyed P’, one who is often clinging to sex to make herself feel loved and wanted, even when she knows she isn’t – really.
The most vulnerable among us are usually the ones who need extensive psychological counseling.
How would I know? #MeToo
/ Signed, That “Wandering Star.”
Then, there is the ‘piece de resistance‘… one of the many reasons the Black community is grappling so hard with AIDS. While admittedly not the ‘automatic death sentence’ it used to be, HIV/AIDS is still a bigger topic in Black America than it should be.
Note: There is NO intention here to gay-bash for the AIDS epidemic, but the story of a man, ‘Crooked Man’ by identity, who believed himself to have been male-raped in his dreams with the approval of the Holy Spirit, who told him to ‘calm down’ during the entire episode, is highly revealing:
…“In my dream, I walked out of my bedroom, down the hall into the living room. I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Watch out.” But before I could say, “For what?” something tried to grab me from behind. When I turned around to see who he was, I felt a pair of arms come around from behind me and hold me tight. Then I was lifted off the floor and another pair of arms hoisted my legs and I was carried 58 back down the hallway to my bedroom. I knew or could feel I was being carried by two people, or things. I say things because at that time from how the one that grabbed me from behind felt, I instinctively knew that it wasn’t human. When we arrived in my bedroom they dropped me on the floor and began to try to rape me. One held my arms and chest down as the other tried to pry my legs open. That’s when I started to see what they were. They were demons. They seemed like man and turtle or something. I could make out just a little more than a silhouette of the one determined to get between my legs. He was on his knees, turned slightly sideways. That’s how I made out his humped, shell-like body. His hands were big and muscular; big and muscular enough to get what he wanted if he had truly put the energy into it. As it was, I still wasn’t willing to be an easy prey. I continued to squirm and clench my legs together. I wasn’t going anywhere; they were making sure of that. As soon as I remembered to yell, the one I couldn’t see, the one holding down my upper body, clasped his big hand over my mouth. I was afraid now. How was I going to call out to God? I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to calm down. I can’t calm down, I thought. “Calm down, ” He entreated. I can’t, I thought again trying to scream through any gap in the demon’s hands. “Calm down and call Father with your spirit,” was the last thing He said.”…
If you’ve never heard of the imps Incubus and Succubus and Mare, the real names of the demons he saw in this dream, you don’t have to believe in it in order to understand it. Study up, this is life and you need to know how to stand them down instead of running away and getting confused about who you are in Christ.
David-Walker states “Crooked Man’s story is troubling because childhood molestation and rape of young black boys is more common than you would imagine and less discussed than needs to be.”
And no, The Church -NO CHURCH- is always a safe-haven from sexual predators, child molesters, or even adulterers (okay, ‘d’uh…jes sayin’). Not by a long shot…
The real problem comes in when ministers and pastors somehow find scriptural references to JUSTIFY AND EXCUSE it.
David-Walker challenges the fact that the Saints, the Body of Christ, have no less than the unmitigated gall to turn a blind eye to the mess that rules inside their own houses of worship.
I’ve always believed that the only reason people condone such behavior in church is either because they are not completely wholly saved and are still living with the anxiety of guilt, or because they are “saving it up” (their past, that is) just in case they have to default to their old behaviors and need to call in a ‘forgiveness favor’ from God later.
Sorry to give you the bad(?) news, but if you are called to honor the Name Above All Names…you simply can’t do what everyone else does.
About Natasha David-Walker
Natasha David-Walker is a native of Atlanta who returned to Georgia after studying at Oakwood College, Hunstville, AL, and Columbus State University. She earned a Bachelor’s degree in General Studies in Biology and a Master’s in English from the University of Memphis (U of M), with a concentration in Professional & Technical Writing. She produces humanities-based documentaries focused on the complexities faced by women of color living with HIV/AIDS, and serves communities through non-profit development and lecturing in colleges and universities. Contact her on Twitter for more information on how to purchase Sex & The Saints or to request her appearance as a speaker.
PUBLIC NOTE: The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the view of the Urban Intellectuals, affiliates or partners.